Reader Beware: Brain Dump

I think I'm just now coming down from the past 2 weeks of total overload while back in Charlotte. The relative solitude I've experienced for the first two weeks after leaving my job allowed my imagination to get the best of me in preparing for jury duty -- the reason I had to go home to Charlotte -- which turned out to be a HUGE let down in a lot of ways.

Even though I dreaded the thought of it, I fully expected to be chosen for a "Law & Order" style murder trial. I just knew I'd be sequestered for 6 months. But the fact is I didn't even see the inside of a courtroom and got dismissed at 3:15 because they didn't need any jurors that day. A relief, but totally anti-climatic. Then I left immediately afterwards for Dad's and then to Robin's - where I had a GREAT time with all, but ended up bailing on my plans to visit my sister at the end of the week because I was so fried. The first week of June was quite the roller coaster.

So here's the dealio: I'm having a little trouble adjusting to the back and forth aspect of my new life, the total lack of routine, and its impact on my life with Gary - which pretty much sucks right now because we've seen each other maybe 7 out of 30 days and I TOTALLY miss our regular life together so I'm flipping out that everything has changed, and not necessarily for the better.

As many people know, the idea to take the year off was hatched as we bought this boat last year -- to "do the Great Loop". As that plan disintegrated over the course of the year due to uncontrollable and ridiculous amounts of delays with the move of Gary's business back to Charlotte, not to mention the wild increase in gas prices made it completely cost prohibitive... but I was still determined to stick to my plan of taking the year off anyway. I can be so stubborn, and yes, Mom, I still have a one-track mind.

Fast forward to now, and I'm already questioning the wisdom and feasibility of keeping this up, and I'm only one month into it. I'm not sure if it's all that healthy for me to be here alone so much. I have yet to set up a regular routine outside of my morning coffee and smoking way too many cigarettes and being a die-hard fan of Craig Ferguson's Late Late Show - which comes on AFTER Dave Letterman (and I don't have Tivo so yes, I'm watching it in real time at 12:30AM - 1:30AM).

I have become both lab rat and scientist in this little experiment I've concocted -- these are uncharted waters I'm in. Today I even looked at a few job search engines -- and found something REALLY interesting with the company I left a month ago. It surprised me too. That I did that. And that I sent my resume. WTF?